Contents of Lost Lad
Chapter 1 Fantasy of Death
Chapter 2 The Dreaded
Chapter 3 The Agony, the
Erotic and the Ecstasy
Chapter 4 Looks Good, Feels
Good, Tastes Good
Chapter 5 The Golden Oarsman
Chapter 6 Journey to the Far
Chapter 7 Adventures Along
the Cromford Canal
Chapter 8 Water-cum-Jolly
Chapter 9 Fairies, Goblins
and Sacrificial Groves
Chapter 10 Wormhill
Chapter 11 A Gallery of Light in Tideswell
Chapter 12 Hell for Leather
Chapter 13 The Servant at Cressbrook Hall
Chapter 14 "He Comes Not Still, tis Dark No Moon"
Chapter 15 Acetous, Aloof,
Cold and Haughty
Chapter 16 A Seductive,
Suggestive, Silver Tongue
Chapter 17 Cracker Biscuits in the Cottage
Chapter 18 Guzzly Granddad
Chapter 19 Dolly, Dolly,
Deep Dark and Devious
Chapter 20 A Writhing Tangle
of Lubricated Bodies
Chapter 21 Butch Numbers and
Chapter 22 Babbacombe to
Chapter 23 Put Ya 'At on
Chapter 24 Clothes of the
Chapter 25 The Hustler the
Pimp and the Murderer
Chapter 26 Sluts Slags and
Chapter 27 An Appeal on BBC
Chapter 28 The Other Twin
Chapter 29 Ghosts
Chapter 30 The Thoughts of Simeon
Chapter 31 Nymphs, Naiads and Dryads
Chapter 32 St John's Chapel in Belper
Chapter 33 Fantasy of Life
Cast of Characters
in Lost Lad
Big Boy - A
leading bully at Mundy Street Boys School when he was
a well developed twelve year old in 1957, Simeon
Hogg's darkest year. Enjoying delegated authority from
a sadistic schoolmaster, Big Boy inflicted pain and
took his pleasure at will.
Adolphus Coggan -
known as Dolly - Gardener to Mr
Hardman. Softly spoken with a silver tongue of
beautiful rounded vowels. Dolly, deep, dark and
mysterious, is an amusing and smooth scented rotundity
who has lived at the lodge to Cressbrook Hall since
Tom Day -
known as Titch - The class clown and smallest of 'the
six' pupils of William Howitt Secondary Modern School
who take a cycle ride up into the Peak District in
Duck and Mrs Duck
- plump and cosy residents in an end of terrace house
known as 'The Duckery' at Bog Hole in Horsley
Woodhouse. Soft, cushy, downy and ductile, they spend
their days twittering over the trifling and the trivia
of everyday life.
- One of the non-identical twins of 'the six' who
shares the same qualities as his brother Danny, but
also with a keen sense of humour and a slight tendency
to mischief and teasing.
Danny Forrester - Easy-going, open, honest, good
natured lad who is ever cheerful, generous and
- The 'village bicycle' of Horsley Woodhouse. A
teenager of easy virtue who shocked respectable
opinion by boasting of being a 'loose bitch' - but,
also, a 'hard bitch'.
- Ugly, unpleasant, smelly old man of uncertain age
who resides in a squalid terraced house in the back
streets of Derby entertaining a harem of teenage boys.
Toothless, slimy and slavering, his frequently seen
glistening tongue advertised his wanton speciality.
Addressed as 'Granddad' but his real name, according
to letters, is Mr T. Piggs. Rumour has it that 'T'
stands for Toby.
- Haughty, cold, aloof, academic acetous owner of
Cressbrook Hall from 1944.
- Son of Algernon Hardman. As an adult he is an
acclaimed author of Derbyshire folklore. A charming
and popular gentleman with impeccable manners. He has
mixed feelings and no small amount of fear about
re-opening the investigation which appears to throw
suspicion on his late father.
- Upright proud 'county' lady of 'good breeding' who
married Charles Hardman in 1976. They have two
daughters and five grandchildren by 2003. Helen is
determined to protect her husband from the
'irresponsible amateur detectives' who have travelled
4000 miles to threaten the peace and contentment of
- 1858 to 1944. Cotton mill owner who bought
Cressbrook Hall in 1888. Father of Algernon.
- Married Algernon Hardman in 1945, mother of Charles.
Killed in Albania in 1960.
Gertie Hogg - Sharp tongued matriarch of the Hogg
family. This highly entertaining harridan is Simeon's
favourite Aunt living with her husband Fred (the same
age) at number two Bog Hole.
- Maiden aunt of Simeon and everything Gary Mackenzie
hates! She is old fashioned, bovine, slow, pleasant
and inoffensive. A shy rustic provincial spinster,
very nervous of men, who spends her days chatting to
the budgie on the kitchen table in her terraced, life
long home at number four Bog Hole, a scruffy but
quaint back street corner of Horsley Woodhouse.
Simeon Hogg -
(Dobba) - One of 'the six' who is haunted for 43 years
by the memory of the inexplicable disappearance of a
good friend back in 1960. In April 2003 he retires
from a teaching career in the USA and returns to
Derbyshire to find the lost lad.
- Grumpy old fashioned uncle of Simeon.
Insular and narrow minded, retired coal-miner with a
horror of travel and all things foreign. Lives with
his crumpled and ruckled wife Nelly at number three
Bog Hole, Horsley Woodhouse.
Rex Lloyd - Compact, well
proportioned, powerful, muscular member of 'the six'.
A strapping popular vibrant personality, confident and
raucous, second only to Scott North.
- Long standing American friend and foil for Simeon
Hogg. Cosmopolitan, well-travelled and intolerant of
the parochial introspective world of Heanor and
Horsley Woodhouse. Over sexed, energetic, fast moving,
highly strung, hyper-active with a short fuse.
- Athletic blond lad with stunning good looks and
leader of the original 'six'.
Aggie Oaks Born in 1924 aged 79 in 2003. Long time
enemy of Gertie Hogg, Aggie has owned and served in
the corner shop at Bog Hole for as long as anyone can
Derek Russell - Born in 1915, 45 in
1960 when he headed the search for the lost lad and is
still a lively, fit 88 in 2003. An officer with
natural, easy charm: cordial, polite and patient.
Barry and Yvonne
Peirson - Owners of Wellhead Farm guest house
in Wormhill where 'the six' have an enjoyable and
interesting holiday with three dogs, six cats, four
chickens, a goat and a sheep.
- Butler, cook, cleaner & general man-servant to the
Hardman family since 1952. Likeable, laughable,
slightly built clairvoyant with a notorious and
hilarious history of erotic 'incidents' which usually
take place in public lavatories.
John Winter - Solid 'run of the mill' copper
who for many years was an assistant to Detective
Inspector Derek Russell.
- Small, hideous and effeminate with deep set
leering fish eyes. Looking positively Jurassic, 'The
Goblin' as he was known in Belper, lived in a
primitive isolated cottage up Shire Oaks practising
his legendary talents of body massage and very keen to
offer the 'extras'.